Star Wars Fans: Kraft Mac And Cheese Knows About Your ‘Room Of Lies’


On a recent episode of SNL, a TV show that Jason tells me is not dissimilar from Saturday Night Live, a NBC sketch comedy show that ceased to exist when I stopped watching it in 2010, featured a parody commercial giving the gears to nerds everywhere with the old ‘toys in the packages’ stereotype. You can see that clip below. And might I add ‘hardee har har’ that’s some good satire.

Now, the in the above commercial (yes, I know I am expecting you to use an insanely bizarre reading for this.. just go with it, ok? It’s too late to turn back now) well if for some strange reason you haven’t already watched that ad above, please do so now. Ouch, right? Kraft is using their cheese and noodles against us.

I’m not trying to launch into some in-the-package/out-of-the-package debate here (personally, I let my toys breath,) I will, however, raise a small moment of contention as to the public perception that anyone who buys toys is some sort of man-child obsessive collector, huddled away in a basement, fawning away over piles of unopened boxes of Micronauts and Stretch Armstrongs and Visionairies – in the dark of course, so that the UV light doesn’t fade the boxes. Our skin pale and dusty, eyes bleary and wet as we lust to protect ‘preciouses.’

I’ll have you know that all my action figures escape their plastic and cardboard cages the moment they land in my hands, enjoy a brief moment of ‘posing’ which is very different playing with them, might I add, before they are put into a basement (devoid of natural light, of course, that UV light is killer on the plastic) so that I can lust and fawn over them.

We need to change this stigma. We need to redefine the public perception of  the hobby. From this day forth, we should cast off the shackles of that stingy and repressed obsessive ‘collector’ the media portrays us as. The odd, social outcast with these seemingly pedantic and deviant behaviors…

We should refer to ourselves as ‘adult toy enthusiasts!’ That should help clear some of this up.

Just Talks About Marvel Movies And Tacos, Happy Now?

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This time on your favorite podcast, Jeremy and Jason sell out and embrace societies appetite for celebrity gossip before grasping your ear hand and taking you through the wild week in Marvel Cinematic Universe news that saw the announcement of a Captain Marvel film, a Black Panther film, an Inhumans film, and all of the rest of Marvel’s impressive slate. Also, there are robot things and a monstrous #TacoTalk. More specificity! [read more>>]

Versus Superman, Magic Underwear, and Motha-Smurfin Jamie Foxx

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This week on The Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy talk about a nightmare Justice League cast, why Smurfs hate Jamie Foxx, why Guillermo del Toro (like many others) hates Michael Bay, why everybody hates Gwyneth Paltrow, and how a bunch of toys that were designed in 1979, might be the key to solving all the lingering questions from Prometheus. [read more>>]

Versus Zombie Bikini Girls On The Moon

This time on The Bastardcast, Jeremy and Jason make fun of the following:

Zombie Bikini Girls, Blowing Up the Moon, The Wolverine and Dougray Scott, A baby, Winning the Lottery, Bad Movie Taste, Nintendo, Renowned Satirist James Gunn, Batman, Jason’s Penis (Again), Michael Fassbender‘s Penis, Star Trek, Canadian-centric Video Games, Happy Porn Stars, Heath Ledger’s Death, Martian Cockteasery, The Two and a Half Men Jesus Kid, why The Bastardcast is filth, an epic fight in VERSUS between non-Twilighty vampires and werewolves, and SO MUCH MORE! [read more>>]

Versus An Unemployed Superman And A Topless Robot

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This time on The Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy team up with Topless Robot overlord Rob Bricken to talk about the Elba/Bond rumors, the Evil Dead and Iron Man 3 trailers, Clark Kent becoming a blogger, the King of the Nerds depressing the shit out of us, the future of Nintendo, and the great action figure scaling wars. [read more>>]

Versus Mark Millar And The Alien Hookers

Jason and Jeremy discus Jason’s lightsaber problem and then talk about feeling… something. Also, eBay enters the theater of social networking with a collector twist, someone casts a resurrection spell on MySpace, bacon is disappearing at an alarming level, and there is Ghostbusters 3 news to be infuriated by. Also, we have more than a confirmed nod from Patrick Stewart about X-Men: Days of Future Past and the guys ooh, ahh, and oy at the Toys R’ Us top 15 toys of 2012 list. [read more>>]