Versus Matrix Revulsions and the Amazing Spider-Cat

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This time on The BastardCast, Jeremy and Jason are wearing shame as we find them passed out on the red carpet. Yes, it’s the Official BastardCast Oscar Special Where We Talk About the Academy Awards for About Four Minutes!

Glamour, glitz, and a whole lot of filler await those of you with balls big enough to click play this week!

On the show: [read more>>]

Versus Leather Sweatpants and the Agents of Bat

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This time on The BastardCast, Jason and Jeremy board the Botany Bay and find Matt Jackson, naked, alone, and full of evil intent. Together, they crash the serene quiet of the cosmos with a ghetto blaster, a crappy but lovable star cruiser, and a mission to punch at the heart of this week’s nerdy news with acid wits and embarrassing bitch tits.

WHAT WE TALKIN BOUT BRUCE WILLIS? We talkin bout nananana Batman! Is Wonder Woman going to crash DC’s upcomming spandex sausage fest and will anyone care about a Batman-less Jim Gordon/Gotham City TV show? We’re also talking about the upcoming Constantine TV show, and whether DC is building it’s own wide universe on the small screen.

More Batman? But of course, we’ve got EXCLUSIVE and surprising audio from casting sessions all throughout Batman’s long on-screen history. Eion Bailey ain’t got shit on the Godfather in spandex!

Alright, maybe you’re an acolyte of Marvel. Part of the Merry Marvel Marching Society. For you, we have our views on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and later, we discuss Avengers 2: Age of Ultron in TRAILERGASM (and also Need for Speed, bitch!)

We also realize that the name Michael Jordan is somewhat common, that Alan Moore is not a clown (sorry, Grant), why Dumb and Dumber makes us sad now, the Firefly comic, our Halloween plans, and what the world’s worst rap battle looks like.All that and MOAR (We’re contractually obligated to spell more like that. Please help.)  

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The BastardCast: The gentleman you see in the image above is our God, worship him with mutton in your mouth and a Pegasus in your soul.

Versus Zombie College Hijinks and the Mystery of the Fox

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This time on The BastardCast, Jason and Jeremy pull a 180 after watching the new RoboCop trailer, warn you about the first ever GTA related virus that didn’t come from banging a pixelated hooker in a car park, and go back to school to learn about zombie stuff and things.

Also on the show: This Week in OMG/Total BS Star Wars News, another DC writer leaves the nest (and shits in it too), Will Smith gets ready to have a meeting in an airport Ramada about returning to his signature role (WILD WILD WILD WESTER here we come!), and Transformers 4 gets a title that we don’t care about (look forward to our 180 on The Dinobot Holocaust in a future episode.)

More? We can not deny you the news about an internet addiction treatment center (step one is admitting that you have a problem, step two is joining Google +), our sparkling repartee about the next iteration of the Bat suit, or our questions about whether Elizabeth Berkely (Showgirls & Saved by the Bell… we’re just helping you so you don’t have to use IMDB) can successfully undulate on dry land without the aid of Kyle MacLachlan’s magical unicorn penis on Dancing with the Stars?

By the way, If you have to ask, yes, this next story is readymade to make you scratch your head to the point where it leaves scar tissue: a mail room worker tried to take her career to higher ground by claiming to know the lead singer of the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Chris Nolan, assuming that Hollywood would give it away… now.

Oh, and here is the that BatFleck Batsuit they talked about… see? They posted the link. GO TEAM!

What the Fox Say? He say re-subscribe to the show on iTunes, there may be a glitch in the system that is conspiring to keep you away from us! He also says that the half life of a meme is less than the amount of time that it takes to.. what were we talking about?

All that and Jeremy Argh Hudson on the lightness of beering during the autumnal treat that is, The BastardCast!candy-drunk

The BastardCast: Now with 100% More Remo Williams!

Versus Jimmy Cameron, The MILF of Dragons, and The Planet Ron Paul

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This time on The BastardCast, Jason and Jeremy talk about Jason’s psychic manipulation of Bill Murray, and the MILF of Dragons and the competing Game of Thrones porno flicks (it’s like Olympus Has Fallen and White House Down with better stories and more boobs)

Also on the show: The boys investigate the Christopher Reeve grilled chesus effect, reboot plans for the Terminator and the watery grave that awaits the franchise, and a Captain Planet movie that can sooth the festering wound that Iron Man left on the soul of good.

Will Pac Rim die screaming while Adam Sandler stands over its crashed body yelling “Whoopidie doo!” and David Spade un-cancels the apocalypse with his un-earned snark? Will Robert Loggia sign on to Independence Day 2: Rise of the Star Whackers next? Is Jeremy dead inside? Is Dabney Coleman alive? Shall we play a game?

These answers will be revealed! But we understand that you need more, so hows about a trip back to 1938 for a look back at one of the Great Moments in Misogyny (sssarcasm)? More? Alright, space lookers have discovered three planets that we may one day use up and toss aside like a spent Capri-Sun, so we’ll talk about that and gaze with confusion and love at our devices as Jason adorably describes his polite view of space exploration. 

Lastly, on Trailergasm, the boys act out an uncomfortable shower scene between Sly Stallone and Ahnold and discuss, The Escape Plan, aka that film where Jesus locks up Rambo and the guy from Kindergarden Cop, only to be saved by 50 Cent and his magic stick.
All that and ghosts who watch you have sex, on THE BASTARDCASTwarm-copiesThe BastardCast: Still conflicted about that whole Tiffany vs. Debbie Gibson thing.

Versus Time Traveling Zombie Dragons

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This week on The Bastardcast, Jeremy and Jason welcome Nerdbastard and Blastr word pooper-outer Mathew Jackson to venture out into the super unknown and discuss the burden in Jon Hamm‘s hand (wordboy means his dick, “Hamm Dickgate Part 2”), the majesty of Zombie Time Traveling Dragon Weekend, aka Time Traveling Dragon Zombie Weekend, aka… you get the picture… Doctor Who and Game of Thrones are back! The Walking Dead is going away! We’re talking about it!!

Also on the show: [read more>>]

Versus Darth Disney And The Raiders Of The Lost Podcast

This time on The Bastardcast: Jeremy busts out of a courtroom and Jason escapes a post-apocalyptic New Jersey to talk about Nic Cage, a WOW playing senator, Doctor Who, the Justice League (of Alabama) and a few things Superman. Then briefly breaking to sexually fantasize about Joe Biden before taking on the main event. [read more>>]