Prepares You For The Coming Trump-pocalypse With Alternate Pulp Fiction Casting, More Batmans (Batmen?) and More

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 It’s almost like we never abandoned you for two months.

Jeremy and Jason have returned, but where were they and who have they become?! Learn about their harrowing tale (busy working and playing Playstation) and also learn about their thoughts on: [read more>>]

Seeks Salvation Through Judgement Of Terminator Genisys

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by…rising a machine or something. Hey Internet, do you like movies about ineffective robots that go back in time to muddled and defective plots riddled with holes? Then do we have a movie for you. Yes, Terminator Genisys is out and it is not good so we turned on the microphones and were unnecessarily harsh on ol’Arnie’s new movie. (Young Arnie was mostly saved from the rancor because he’s not really real.) [read more>>]

And The Revenge Of The Fart Lords Of The Sith

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Welcome back to the podcast of fun, this time on the show your life model decoy hosts, Jeremy and Jason, have brewed a cup of nerdy pop-culture talky news things and awkward moments. Do you like Star Wars, beard chat, Doctor Who, and scandalous sexy sex sex on the television set? Wow! Then do we have a show for you, clown shoes!

On the unnamed super terrific hour this week: [read more>>]

Versus Ghost Sex, Zombie Transformers, and the Mustache Hall of Fame

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This time on The BastardCast, Jason and Jeremy discuss the world of the psychic and supernatural while also investigating the world of ghost dating. Also, the pain and gain of bad boys trying to throw an air conditioner at Michael Bay, crack addled mice, the mustache hall of fame, bacon and your bits, and President Terminator and Vice President Dennis Rodman.

More? You greedy little unicorns, you… how about a shared Universal movie monster universe with Dracula, non-Twilight-y Frankenstein, and Chevy Chase? How about Tim Burton possibly directing a Beetlejuice sequel? How about the end of South Park’s iron man streak? How about we try to figure out what fresh hell awaits us all in the Spring with the upcoming Darth Vader TV special?

My goodness, you still want more, don’t you? Well, at the very, very end of the show, Jason and Jeremy Spoil Shit and pick apart the alleged nerd love letter that is Zero Charisma and discuss the depiction of nerds in Hollywood.

All that and more on The George Michael Sports Machine…sobbingThe BastardCast: We have applesauce in our pants!

Versus Leather Sweatpants and the Agents of Bat

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This time on The BastardCast, Jason and Jeremy board the Botany Bay and find Matt Jackson, naked, alone, and full of evil intent. Together, they crash the serene quiet of the cosmos with a ghetto blaster, a crappy but lovable star cruiser, and a mission to punch at the heart of this week’s nerdy news with acid wits and embarrassing bitch tits.

WHAT WE TALKIN BOUT BRUCE WILLIS? We talkin bout nananana Batman! Is Wonder Woman going to crash DC’s upcomming spandex sausage fest and will anyone care about a Batman-less Jim Gordon/Gotham City TV show? We’re also talking about the upcoming Constantine TV show, and whether DC is building it’s own wide universe on the small screen.

More Batman? But of course, we’ve got EXCLUSIVE and surprising audio from casting sessions all throughout Batman’s long on-screen history. Eion Bailey ain’t got shit on the Godfather in spandex!

Alright, maybe you’re an acolyte of Marvel. Part of the Merry Marvel Marching Society. For you, we have our views on Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and later, we discuss Avengers 2: Age of Ultron in TRAILERGASM (and also Need for Speed, bitch!)

We also realize that the name Michael Jordan is somewhat common, that Alan Moore is not a clown (sorry, Grant), why Dumb and Dumber makes us sad now, the Firefly comic, our Halloween plans, and what the world’s worst rap battle looks like.All that and MOAR (We’re contractually obligated to spell more like that. Please help.)  

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The BastardCast: The gentleman you see in the image above is our God, worship him with mutton in your mouth and a Pegasus in your soul.

Versus Grand Theft Podcast

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This time on The BastardCast, the boys return to get creeped out by clowns, root for GWAR to play the Super Bowl, get drunk on Hello Kitty near-beer, and assure you that your vagina’s are not haunted.

They’re also discussing the ways in which BatFleck handles his shit, horrifying puppet hug time with Superman, Jason’s newborn GTA V addiction, and we Trailergasm with Zero Charisma… and we also discuss the movie Zero Charisma.

Do you require more? You son of a bitch! Fine! The Expendables newest badass could be Frasier Crane (Kick), Schwarzenegger may lay waste to the smurf colored cat-elves in Avatar 2, The Hoff strikes out against Marvel and that guy who directed The Avengers because he was the best Nick Fury, and the rare Ned Beatty nickel!All that and a shocking amount German porn references on THE BASTARDCAST!

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The BastardCast: This is what shame sounds like.

oh ya… and go here to help Spot Northampton’s Clown!

 

 

 

Versus Jimmy Cameron, The MILF of Dragons, and The Planet Ron Paul

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This time on The BastardCast, Jason and Jeremy talk about Jason’s psychic manipulation of Bill Murray, and the MILF of Dragons and the competing Game of Thrones porno flicks (it’s like Olympus Has Fallen and White House Down with better stories and more boobs)

Also on the show: The boys investigate the Christopher Reeve grilled chesus effect, reboot plans for the Terminator and the watery grave that awaits the franchise, and a Captain Planet movie that can sooth the festering wound that Iron Man left on the soul of good.

Will Pac Rim die screaming while Adam Sandler stands over its crashed body yelling “Whoopidie doo!” and David Spade un-cancels the apocalypse with his un-earned snark? Will Robert Loggia sign on to Independence Day 2: Rise of the Star Whackers next? Is Jeremy dead inside? Is Dabney Coleman alive? Shall we play a game?

These answers will be revealed! But we understand that you need more, so hows about a trip back to 1938 for a look back at one of the Great Moments in Misogyny (sssarcasm)? More? Alright, space lookers have discovered three planets that we may one day use up and toss aside like a spent Capri-Sun, so we’ll talk about that and gaze with confusion and love at our devices as Jason adorably describes his polite view of space exploration. 

Lastly, on Trailergasm, the boys act out an uncomfortable shower scene between Sly Stallone and Ahnold and discuss, The Escape Plan, aka that film where Jesus locks up Rambo and the guy from Kindergarden Cop, only to be saved by 50 Cent and his magic stick.
All that and ghosts who watch you have sex, on THE BASTARDCASTwarm-copiesThe BastardCast: Still conflicted about that whole Tiffany vs. Debbie Gibson thing.