Also on the show, the fellas discuss the tale of the tape for a fight between Whovians and Star Wars fans, Pac Rim‘s 70 minute orgasm delivery system, Schwarzenegger’s toxic new roll (that was a lazy description but I’m still drunk from the Anniversary Party), the Office finale, the atrocity that is Pac Rim mock-off Atlantic Rim, that Ludicris seal of approval, and the death of the friggin terrible Zombieland TV show that died because we’re all awful to awful things or something.

You need more, don’t you? Fine! This is one fat friggin taco of a show! You wanna hear about Rob Liefeld‘s new Kickstarter (which is, for the record, NOT called “The Adventures of Tiny Foot and Titbutt”)? How about Canadian Jesus and the Jimmy Olsen AIDS Initiative? You got it! How about another nail in Nintendo‘s coffin, the Disney black-market where handi-capes are making a killing, and the saga of a 10 foot Robocop and his pending siege on the city of Detroit? Sure!

Is that enough freaking show for you? No?!?! SCREW YOU, we’ve got all that and an a cavalcade of easter eggs from the show’s rich (LIE) history, a never-before-shared story about the time the boys tried to interview a pornstar, AND a bunch of shitty impressions. If you want more, I suggest you go mount a unicorn named Bo Jackson and ride off to the magical kingdom of fairytales and superior podcasts where Leslie Nielsen is still alive, the 3 titted chick from Total Recall is mayor, and Simon and Simon is still on the air. All of that, plus, a song about blowjobs on THE BASTARDCAST!

The Bastardcast: Hell yeah, we’re giggle dealers and proud men with tits and opinions.

Also on the show: Rubber cocks replace carrier pigeons, Marvel bets on black (and also the awesome power of Danny Rand’s V-neck), the IT Crowd tries to turn itself back on again (I’m sorry), and the boys discuss why the term “shot for shot remake” might not be the best choice of words when discussing the new Crow movie.

Do you require more giggle flakes in your bowl? Fine. We’ve also got an ALL NEW Trailergasm, and this time, our two fat assholes are talking about casting Sandra Bullock out into the dark nethers of space, one last lick of cornetto, and a boy named Ender that they don’t care about.

Holy crap this is a full show!… is a thing that you could accurately put in that iTunes review that you’ve been meaning to write, because we’ve also got the (brief) return of Taco Talk 2-Nite in “Taco Talk 2-Nite 2: Taquería Exotica”, and Jason teaches us all a little something about love.

All of that, the Handicapped Cadillac Trumpet Detective, and more on this week’s episode of The Bastardcast!

The Bastardcast: Taking you in a manly yet awkward way since 2012.

This week on the supple BastardCast, your mother lets Jeremy and Jason out of her bed long enough to talk about Free Comic Book Day, Doctorless Who and the Time Lord’s E-Harmony account, the great Marvel vs. DC debate, and the return of four classic Marvel characters to the Disney owned Marvel Movie Universe that will now be completely ignored after being totally abandoned. So, welcome back Matt Murdock!

Also on the show: Fanboys have Fury over Human Torch casting rumor, Ray-J and Brandy (or possibly another pair of siblings) joining the Avengers if “sources” are to be believed, Jim Gaffigan doesn’t care about your toenails and we don’t care about the resulting controversy, and stop, collaborate, and listen as Ziggy Stardust Jr. compares Tom Cruise to Vanilla Ice.

Do you demand more? Alrighty, Jason performs emergency surgery on a couch that may contain a pathway to another dimension, Charlie Day rides a robot like a bronco while it pinata’s the head of a monster with the whooping stick made of 100% boat, and the boys sing an ode to Grand Theft Auto Trevor, patron saint of fucking shit up and wife-beater tees.

All that, vaginal care products, fresh meat for the Hall of Excellence, and the continuing search for Jeremy’s stolen Batman colorforms on this week’s episode of The Bastardcast.

The Bastardcast: Please don’t listen to us while you masturbate.

Wait! There are more things! Can JJ Abrams woo George Lucas away from the butter sculpting circuit (and if not, will Lucas align with Vanilla Ice to form the unstoppable butter-duo “Ice Ice Jawa”?)

Also, do robot’s draw dicks on mars and order pizza via Xbox because they are freaking douche bags? Is Joss Whedon pulling an us while really mailing it in with SHIELD? Will there ever be a good Daredevil movie? Do you even remember the long abandoned Bastardcast VERSUS segment? And who is the biggest one-eyed freaking badass on Earth: Nick Fury or Snake Plissken?

We don’t know the answer to any of this stuff, but we do know that Anthony Michael Hall and Ethan Embry’s work on a banner and a jacket to welcome Ed Helms to the Rusty Grisswold club is a COMPLETE FREAKING WASTE!

All of that and our slightly tardy 2010 Winter Movie Preview, on The Bastardcast!

The Bastardcast: Can we say fuck on here?

This week on The Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy talk about a nightmare Justice League cast, why Smurfs hate Jamie Foxx, why Guillermo del Toro (like many others) hates Michael Bay, why everybody hates Gwyneth Paltrow, and how a bunch of toys that were designed in 1979, might be the key to solving all the lingering questions from Prometheus.

Also on the show: The boys investigate what both G-Pal (we call her G-Pal now) and Iron Man smell like, what it would be like if Arnold Schwarzenegger replaced Kelly LeBrock in the Weird Science remake, how Porn Inspector would look on a resume, and why Patton Oswalt, the guy from Monk, and Superman are freaking awesome, and possibly the same person (bum! Bum!! BUM!!!).

If that gets your blood pumping, don’t miss Jeremy traumatizing his son, and Jason calling for hand job flavored cough medicine before raging about his uncapitalized upon rumble pack masturbatory aide invention and the magical vibrating underthings that are swooping in to capitalize on that market. ‘

All that and unicorn recipes that will make your head spin, on The Bastardcast.

The Bastardcast: Your mother’s dirty secret.

This week on The Bastardcast: Jason and Jeremy return from their tour of Yo Momma to talk about the big drama surrounding a little bit of peen in Saga #12, a Game of Thrones fan’s Craigslist enabled sexy time fantasy, and world renowned sugar-tit enthusiast Mel Gibson’s possible directorial return for The Expendables vs. The Macabees: A Time Travel Adventure, aka Expendables 3.

Also on the show: Would you have sex with a robot? 9% of you would according to a new poll and apparently 50% of our adventurous hosts would as well. So, yeah, we’ll be dedicating some time to discuss Cylon banging.

This week on The Bastardcast, Jeremy and Jason welcome Nerdbastard and Blastr word pooper-outer Mathew Jackson to venture out into the super unknown and discuss the burden in Jon Hamm‘s hand (wordboy means his dick, “Hamm Dickgate Part 2″), the majesty of Zombie Time Traveling Dragon Weekend, aka Time Traveling Dragon Zombie Weekend, aka… you get the picture… Doctor Who and Game of Thrones are back! The Walking Dead is going away! We’re talking about it!!

Also on the show!

Can Independence Day 2 and Independence Day 3 outshine the original while blowing up the outside world? Ash Williams has been away too long, will the rumored Army of Darkness sequel live to rise? Not enough for you? How about Jason becoming a born again Nerdist fan and the mystery of Heisenberg’s stolen script, bitch!?

Holy great pillowy boob-resembley cloud in the sky! You want more? Fine, how about we talk about a great innovation in sexy time? A bacon condom that both looks and tastes like bacon when you have bacon-y big dumb sex? How about that slice of butter fried greatness? We don’t even care that the Vandelay Industries pastrami flavored condom never took off, this is better!

C’mon folks, WRAP YOUR HAMM IN BACON AND DELTA YOUR BURKE!!! (Listen to the show to get that reference.)

The Bastarcast: We really like Soundgarden and exclamation points!

You want more? You need it? Fine, we will be your podcast heroin — who want’s to talk about the Pope!?!?! Yeah you do, how about Ukrainian assassin dolphins? Oh, now we got your attention. Ready for the money shot? The Papal pop-shot if you will? How about this: The Pope riding on the back of a Ukrainian assassin dolphin to take on Steven Seagal?! BOOM! Don’t trip on your brain pieces that fell on the floor when we blew your mind with that thing we just said.

I can’t believe you want more show, I can’t believe how voracious your appetites are and the fact that I just used the word voracious in a way that is proper. Fine! We will give you more show! You insatiable pod-gobbler!

KEVIN SMITH EATING A SANDWICH, ASTRONAUT: THE MUSICAL, IRAN DOESN’T LIKE BEN AFFLECK‘S APPLES, AND SLY STALLONE WANTS YOUNG MEN… for Expendables 3.

All that, and a whole other podcast tacked onto the back of this one that will have hilarity ensuing all over your face and up in your business.

The Bastardcast: Kickstartering a Perfect Strangers trilogy since 8 minutes ago.

This week on THE BASTARDCAST, Jason and Jeremy return after a brief hiatus to talk about why George Lucas hates you,Community pander-puppets, why nobody seems to care about Robin’s death… including Batman, and a pantsless drunk chick and her pow-pow-power wheel aided attempt to escape the long arm of the law.
Also on the show: Jason feels tough, Warner Bros. tries to buy back Christian Bale‘s Bat-love, Russell Crowe see’s a UFO, Jon Stewart opens the door for Craigers-Redux, and a space privateer wants to create the world’s worst sitcom… in space!

What, you want more? Fine! How about we bring you the first annual “Night of 1,000 Horrible Impressions” and the boys discussing a lego spill in West Virginia, the Late Night wars, headless giraffes, kosher porn, a way for Bill Murray to sell out for a good cause, The Walking Dead, Jeremy’s Poseidon-y Adventure, a lost tomb of wet comic books, the Tweet of the Week, one man’s ceaseless love of the white powder, the divine splendor of butter statues, and why everyone hates Megan Fox.

All that, the regrettable omission of the term “boob guns”, the “Ignition” of a debate about the National Anthem, and a desperate appeal for Dan Harmon‘s love and your hate.

The Bastardcast: In our free time, we write erotic Magnum PI fanfic.

This week on The Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy trick Badass Digest’s Evan Saathoff into coming on the show and then they talk about Universal Soldier, the best and worst of Jean-Claude Van Damme‘s time on this earth.

Also on the show: Nic Cage bought a pyramid for which to die in, Mark Hamill is going to talk to somebody official about being in Star Wars someday, Kevin Smith wants to teach stoners how to read, and Batman is more hazardous to young boys than a [insert stock catholicism joke here]

Jason and Jeremy also try to form words about the unholy joining of Michael Bay and Megan Fox for a movie about Turtles that may be Teenage Ninjas and Sony’s big invisible video game system is revealed… we think.

The Bastardcast: We’d eat a person if the circumstances demanded it.

This time on The Bastardcast: Jeremy and Jason try to keep it together as they discuss meteoroids, asteroids, zombies, and other world enders like Warner Brothers’ development slate and the Dan Harmonless Community. Also, Jeremy and Jason nerd out on all the Toy Fair 2013 news and then fight about A Good Day to Die Hard.

Following that, Jeremy swings low on the latest member of the X-Men First Class: Days of Future Past cast, Jason goes off the deep end when Jeremy mocks Han Solo, and they both think the that reports about the demise of the video game industry are premature and full of poop.

Yes, it’s the kind of high brow episode where our fearless hosts let you know that an actor’s artistic worth is determined by how many times he shows peen on the screen. In fact, that’s this week’s special happy fun hashtag, #PeenOnTheScreen.

All that and more #FebruMurray fun as we continue to celebrate noted kickball striker Bill Murray.

The Bastardcast: Presently running low on witty taglines.

The boys also discuss the weeping soul blister that was the return of the Dan Harmonless Community, the return of The Walking Dead, kitty cats on the Monopoly board, art vs. commerce in video games, and part 2 of our epic tribute to Bill Murray, code name: #FebruMurray, alternative code name: If we blow him enough with our words, he’ll surely come sing karaoke with us/Operation Thunder.

So come on down, have some pancakes, and let us uplift, educate, and violate you with this edition of The Bastardcast!

The Bastardcast: Against dolphin rape since before it was a thing.

(used with love and respect, Eclectic Method - Bill Murray)

Also on the show: why the man who brought us Felicity may not screw up Star Wars, why Jenny Olsen is an upgrade over Jeremy Olsen, and why Adam Sandler might just “Zohan” Guardians of the Galaxy. All that and a plethora of shitty impressions by the fat one.

Wanna be our friend on twitter? It really isn’t that hard and we aren’t all that selective. Just follow us @RadioBastard and bask in the glow of intermittent genius.

The Bastardcast: An emporium of fancy dick jokes and other sparkling repartee.

This week on the Bastardcast: Jeremy and J-dizzle talk about feelings, becoming a woman, and also monkeys. Monkeys in space, the worst cartoon ape ever, a masturbating monkey and several non-monkey things.

What are those non-monkey thing? I hate you and your damned inquisitions but I shall tell you nonetheless.

On the show, the boys also dish on the empire… Striking back, German puppy hurling, bulldozer racing, induct the employee of the Millennium (or Willennium if you prefer) into the Hall Of Excellence™, a retiring pirate, deep V-neck heroes, a machine that sucks the fat out, and fake Chinese theme parks*!!

 *World Joyland pictures via Reddit user FrancescaO_O

The Bastardcast: our girlfriends are real.

This week on The Bastardcast: Jason and Jeremy welcome Noobz star Jason Mewes to the show! That’s right, we’ve drawn first blood in our non-going war with SModCo! While on the show, Mr. Mewes discusses his new flick and Jay and Silent Bob Get Old.

Also on the cast: the boys discuss the bullshit Oscar nominations, Monopoly‘s plan to Ice Flow one of it’s classic pieces, Disney‘s possible plans to build a video game console, the death of PS2 (yes, PS2), Jeff Lemire‘s new sci-fi anthology comic, the ongoing adventures of Honey Boo Boo, Guillermo del Toro‘s busy calendar, Jason’s mutant psychic powers, and more!

This week, for their extreme love of porn, we induct the greater metropolitan Washington D.C. area into the Hall of Excellence. Congrats guys, now please delete your browsers history.

The Bastardcast: We’re trying.

This week on The Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy are talking about League’s of Justice, overrated Avengers, a divided Joseph Gordon Levitt, Sam Jackson yelling, Panda Blood, and a crude video game sex analogy. What comes after that? Stop crowding me with your questions! Also, the boys weigh in on Dave Mustaine‘s need to get a good man an affordable suit, a woman who prefers plaid, evolutionary fists of love, catsup kerfuffles, the land o’ Hobbits, the kvetching Dead, and the one trillionth argument about what a real nerd* is.

We survived! The genuine, accept no substitutes BastardCast crushed the Christmapocalypse and this week we’re back to talk about an Amazing Spider-Man, an Astonishing Stan Lee, and a Re-Employed Gail Simone. Following that, the boys continue their shameless public felating of Kevin Smith (He isn’t hiring any more “friends” Jeremy!), discuss the Django Unchained linguistic hullabaloo, the chances of building an actual Enterprise, asteroids, and pirates and the films that they love.

After that, Jeremy and Jason welcome back Anne Sisk and Steven Sautter to discuss the great war between digital comics and paper comics and the future of the comic industry and then we introduce the HALL OF EXCELLENCE and induct a man who ate everything on the Hobbit menu at Dennys… may he rest in peace.

All that and MOAR (Which is not a word!) on The Bastardcast!

The Bastardcast, people actually listen to this shit.

This week on The Bastardcast: Christmapocalypse Edition, Jason and Jeremy dish on bullpoop Star Wars rumors, Transformers, the pain of Pain and Gain, broken penises, The Imprisonment of the Scar Jo Boob Bandit, faux hawk baby-napper, the gender neutral Easy Bake oven, and the end of the damn world. Plus: A very Jewey Christmas Message from Jason.

All that and more on The Bastardcast, The Wal Mart of Internet radio humor!

This time on The Bastardcast, Jeremy and Jason make fun of the following:

Zombie Bikini Girls, Blowing Up the Moon, The Wolverine and Dougray Scott, A baby, Winning the Lottery, Bad Movie Taste, Nintendo, Renowned Satirist James Gunn, Batman, Jason’s Penis (Again), Michael Fassbender‘s Penis, Star Trek, Canadian-centric Video Games, Happy Porn Stars, Heath Ledger’s Death, Martian Cockteasery, The Two and a Half Men Jesus Kid, why The Bastardcast is filth, an epic fight in VERSUS between non-Twilighty vampires and werewolves, and SO MUCH MORE!

The Bastardcast — Bring your own snacks.

After that (and before it in some cases, this is hardly chronological, baby) the fellows dismiss Glee‘s geek grab, ponder when the Star Wars rumor mill will spin off it’s axis and crush us all, and mourn the death of Dirty Jobs.

Also, with hockey on ice (clever!) many kindly Canadians are rushing out to buy things that they can put into themselves and their special ladies — we talk about the rise in sex toy purchases up north, Jeremy reveals his strongly held views on armless hump balls, and Jason reveals a very special story about his… well you’ll just have to listen won’t you?

Still craving more giblets? How about this week’s VERSUS where Jason and Jeremy tussle over who would win in a stand-off for the world’s last Cabage Patch Dolls — BLACK FRIDAY SHOPPERS VS. AN ORK HOARD!

This time on the sound gumbo that is The Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy learn about feelings and fight about the power of nerd rage and how much Disney should fear it as they possibly consider resurrecting Darth Vader (even though they probably won’t). After that, it’s straight on through to the magical land of Twinkie death and Marvel as they discuss a future seer named Roger who knows… things… things about the upcoming slate of Marvel movies but who didn’t know that America’s favorite snack cake was going to be filled with sad.
Into video games? Hell yeah you are you twinkie munchin mother fffer and this week Jason and Jeremy are goona gush about Halo 4 and Modern Warfare‘s ridonk sales figures and the life replacement system that is GTA V. Oh no Ho Ho, we ain’t done yet, the guys are also talking about the shocking lack of more Firefly, and Jason fills us in on his middling trip to a New Jersey porn convention that smelled like astroglide and sadness. All that and more on the 500 Cl… on The Bastardcast!

Also, they talk about the death of Hostess… you know, in case you didn’t realize.

This time on The Bastardcast: Jeremy busts out of a courtroom and Jason escapes a post-apocalyptic New Jersey to talk about Nic Cage, a WOW playing senator, Doctor Who, the Justice League (of Alabama) and a few things Superman. Then briefly breaking to sexually fantasize about Joe Biden before taking on the main event.

The sale of LucasFilm to Disney and why it will consume the internet over the 36 months.

After that melange of mayhem, the boys tackle this week’s ultimate question in VS: Whose the better commander n’ chief, Pullman in Independence Day or Camacho in Idiocracy?

This time on The Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy team up with Topless Robot overlord Rob Bricken to talk about the Elba/Bond rumors, the Evil Dead and Iron Man 3 trailers, Clark Kent becoming a blogger, the King of the Nerds depressing the shit out of us, the future of Nintendo, and the great action figure scaling wars.

After making the week’s headlines their bitch, Jason and Jeremy free Rob from their spell and then take on the greatest debate of all time (until next week) in VERSUS, when they ask who would win in an epic battle: JASON VOORHEES or A BOX FULL OF KITTENS!!! Can you dig it? I said CAN YOU DIG IT?!?!

This week on The Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy giggle a lot and discuss the future of the Justice League Movie, the latest EXCITING comic book litigation news, Ghostbusters 3 (We ain’t afraid of no ghost, but we are terrified that Dan Aykroyd is going to actually get to make this), sending Animal Hospital to a farm where it can roam free, the genius of Simon & Simon, and the great celebrity sperm hoax of 2012.

Following HEADLINES, the boys let Anne Sisk class up the joint and her and Jason regale Jeremy with tales from the badlands of New York Comic Con. Toy hunting, star spotting, Stan Lee molesting — all the con-tales are here for your willing aural cavities.

After Anne smartly flees, Jason and Jeremy enter the VERSUS arena (Attention corporations, the arena naming rights are still available and we have NO standards… just saying). What happens in the VERSUS Arena? Real, raw, naked debate. Well, not naked, but not far off. This time, Jason takes the stance that He-Man is better than Lion-O and his Thundercats and MOTU figures look on in horror and glee while Jeremy tells the world why he thinks pussies with swords always trump men in loin-cloths with a Dorothy Hamill haircut.

By the way, gentlemen, the question that you will be asking all of your friends has arrived: Are you a Sword of Omens or are you a Power Sword? No fucking clue what we’re talking about? Just listen to the podcast and you’ll see… well, you’ll hear. Just listen to the show!

This time on the Peabody ignored Bastardcast, Jason and Jeremy discuss the high points of a bacteria that poops gold, Mila Kunis’ candidacy for Miss Glamour Puss of Earth-19 (aka the Sexiest Woman Alive), bullshit Marvel casting rumors, the real death of the dinosaurs, the benching of Community, and the greatest internet review of all time.

Then, in THE MAIN EVENT, our hosts discuss the mayhem of New York Comic Con and then briefly touch on that other event where a horde of diseased monsters stand between Jason and serenity (literally, the line for the Walking Dead panel is totes going to keep Jason from the Firefly panel) — The Walking Dead, which comes back to your television devices this Sunday. Will the Governor rise? Will Rick fall? Will it all take place in the snow globe of an autistic child? We just don’t know, so stop fucking asking us asshole!

Then, last and probably least, these fine young cannibals take you into the basement cage match where blood is spilled and Pokemon get cut — it’s the VERSUS ARENA and Jason is saying that a robot apocalypse trumps a zombie apocalypse because it will mean the end of twitter and because you can have less gross sex with a borg than you can with a walker. “Nuh uh, no you didn’t” says Jeremy though, as he punches Jason in the throat with his words and reminds him that zombies can’t climb stairs, so we would then all have more of a chance to survive. Except Jason because he’ll be knee deep in droid trim… apparently.

After HEADLINES, Jason talks to Halo: Forward Onto Dawn director Stewart Hendler about casting Master Chief, how much creative freedom he had, and the process of adapting the world of Halo for the screen.

Are you not entertained?!?! Too bad, because at the end there is another round of VERSUS where Jason lobbies for the TARDIS as a superior time machine to the DeLorean, which Jeremy meekly advocates… and now you know which one of us writes these little descriptions. #TeamTardis

Then in the MAIN EVENT: Jason and Jeremy debate the value of Mark Millar becoming the kaiser of Fox’ Marvel film slate and ponder if he is being brought in to enhance their films or just stand out as a nerd mascot.

Speaking of the art of debate, the guys have a new segment called VERSUS where they quickly scuffle over the important questions of our time. This week: Ninja’s VERSUS Jedi. The best part? You decide the winner!

The Bastardcast, the official podcast of the Bacon Preservation Society of North America.

After HEADLINES, Jason plays an excerpt of his interview with Parks and Rec star Nick Offerman and then — on a thoroughly unrelated note — the boys take on the long and illustrious history of actors bashing their former projects (hat tip to Pajiba and writer Josh Kurp for inspiring the conversation).

Coming out of THE MAIN EVENT, Jason talks about stealing his living room and filling it with lightsabers while Jeremy is convinced that he is the center of the verse and destined to take on a horde of other hims in DIRTY NERDY CONFESSIONS.

The Bastardcast, officially Gotham Style!

Following that, Captain Corpulent and the Ginger Lantern (we’re trying it out) invite Kyle Moody aboard the S.S. Sinking Ship to discuss the college course he is teaching on video games and journalism in association with IGN before the boys kick him out and do the Dirty Nerdy Confession, and when I say “do”, I mean… well, you’ll have to listen to find out. (We don’t know where that innuendo is going honestly…)

The BastardCast…. a safe haven for former G4 viewers!

Prior to that, Jeremy and Jason discuss their collectible addictions, the possibility of a Brett RatnerJustice League film, the S.H.I.E.L.D. TV show, and Eddie Murphy working hard to soil both the remaining shards of his legacy and the realm of television.

Later, in Dirty Nerdy Confessions, Jason admits that he sings to his technology and Jeremy finds a way to trick his wife into playing with his joystick.

The Bastardcast, the official podcast of The Ood.

Naturally hillariosity breaks out of it’s confinement and goes on a tickle spree so listen up and then wait patiently for an ALL NEW REGULAR SIZED EDITION of THE BASTARDCAST premiering later this week. What’s on tap for this week’s full length episode? Whatever the fuck we want and also DOCTOR WHO!!! Why am I yelling?

Wanna be on the next Ask The Bastards podcast? Email us! your questions or (even better) a recording of you asking your question and we just may use it on the show!

Also on the show: Jason, Jeremy, and Sarah discuss the drunken ebauchery that goes on at Dragon Con (which she’ll be attending), the ridiculousness of the Doctor Who release date indecision, and the Royal Canadian White Trash Rock and Roll Wedding of Ramen Noodle Hair Guy and the Sk8Tr Grrl.

Then in DIRTY NERDY CONFESSIONS: Jason and Jeremy totally mail it in but Sarah saves the day by revealing that she once wrote… well you’ll just have to press play to find out, but it’s good and the hunt is on to find it so she can come back and read an excerpt.

Programming Note: Wanna be on the special Ask The Bastards episode? Email us! your questions or (even better) a recording of you asking your question!

The Bastardcast. The most downloaded podcast on the planet Mars… your move Hardwick!

Also on the show: DIRECTORS BE SAYIN SHIT! Yes, David Cronenberg thinks that comic books are adolescent… something that Jeremy and Jason collectivly say “nuh uh” too.

Then in DIRTY NERDY CONFESSIONS: Jason talks about toy rubbing and Jeremy is, once again, drawn to a life of crime solving after a run-in with his nemesis.

The Bastardcast — the official podcast of historic dead people whose likeness rights are now public domain.

Shit we talk about on the podcast:

3-D Meat

Picard Chair/Hobo Urinal

In this episode, Jason is growing out an Alan Moore beard while ceaselessly watching Mohawk Man and the Curiosity Crusade and Jeremy is trying to advance his career as a Hollywood player, forcing Jason to act out a scene with him from Karl Welzein’s un-sold script for Roadhouse 2012: Pain Still Don’t Hurt.

The boys (because these are not men!) also chat about the return of President Camacho, Scully and Mulder, the earnings potential of Annie’s Boobs, and Jason unveils an excerpt from his interview with Eddie Izzard, who talks about why he took the role of Grandpa in the Munsters remake, Mockingbird Lane.

In the MAIN EVENT, Jason and Jeremy take on Joss Whedon’s indentured servitude with Marvel, Ben Affleck’s flirtation with DC, and the chances that a greater push toward television by Marvel and DC could backfire and over-expose comic book heroes.

Then, in DIRTY NERDY SECRETS Jeremy reveals that he is afraid of being probed on a UFO by a Sasquatch, and Jason tells us why all kids who own or have owned a Power Wheels are fucking douche bags, but that there is a sadness to those who, like himself, owned a NES Powerglove.

All of that and the Ghost of Andy Rooney, on this week’s Bastardcast.

• Will the next X-Men First Class film screw up the Days of Future Past?
• Why are David Yates and Steven Moffat playing a public game of “Nuh uh” with the Doctor Who movie?
• Is Dan Aykroyd trying to coax Bill Murray into signing onto Ghostbusters 3 and will he do the same thing with Peter MacNicol?
• And…’Deadpool’ has a new creative team, but why did co-creator Rob Liefeld take to the internet in protest?

Once HEADLINES draw to a close, the guys continue their series on dueling timelines, tentativly re-named, “FUCK YOU MY ERA WAS BETTER”. This time on FYMEWB (which just rrrolls off the tongue) Jason is fighting for the honor of elder comics over commercialization and re-boots while Jeremy is more open to the present era, so long as there is a monthly Booster Gold book to light the pathway to his heart.

Then in DIRTY NERDY CONFESSIONS, Jeremy is hiding something from his wife and Jason wants the internet to hate him. All of that and we get a metal bird drunk on this week’s BASTARDCAST!

This week on the Bastardcast, Jeremy and Jason suggest some nerdy Olympic counter programming, talk about why chicken restaurants don’t want to serve gay muppets, and then tackle the DIRTY NERDY CONFESSIONS with a special, mystery guest. They also read some tasteful selections from 50 Shades of Grey(Skull) and then in the first of a special, hard hitting expose, Jason and Jeremy Discuss Whether Old Crap or New Crap is Better If They Don’t Have Anything Else to Talk About: Action Figure Edition. Come for the laughs, stay for the subtle French bigotry.

The magic hashtag: #50ShadesOfGreyskull

Colorado Organization for Victims Assistance – The American Red Cross – Giving First.org

Also, balloons!

Programming Note (again): ‘Member how we said we were going back to a regular Thursday for posting the ‘cast? We lied, This upcoming Sunday (July 22nd) check back for an extra special BatBastardCast with a special guest! Spoiler, it’t not Adam West.

Also, computers are learning how to identify kitties. Are they trying to join forces? Is this the opening days of a PC/Kitty uprising? The boys discuss that and also reveal more DIRTY NERDY SECRETS!

The Bastardcast made it onto iTunes’ New and Noteworthy list, because since Steve Jobs died it’s just early morning whip-its and nepotism run-amok at Apple.

Rate us! Love us! Hate Us… just give us attention. Please?

Do to you like gladiator movies? Spectacular, the guys won’t be talking about that in headlines, but they will discuss the guy from The Man Show dragging his knuckles to get attention, Justin Timberlake‘s continued campaign to bring sexy back AND make it safe to go to the beach again, and Barberella. All that and some potator chips (not for you) on the podcast. It’s almost a radio show, and we’re almost getting paid for this… but not really.

The boys also dip themselves in mud and tackle Chris Nolan’s runaway ego, Tom Baker’s potential Doctor Who return, a throne fit for a fortune, and the very latest in Marvel movie rumors.

Come with us if you want to live and for goodness sake, download the Bastardcast and tell all of your friends your Dirty Nerdy Secret!

In the second episode of the resurrected NerdBastards.com Podcast, The Bastardcast, hosts jeremy r! hudson and Jason Tabrys take on the link between gaming and marital discontentedness, call bullshit on DC Comics’ likely pick as their new, prominent gay character, and weigh in on the horror of Pauly Shore and Andy Dick possibly working toward eye raping the world with another collaboration in Headlines. In the Gauntlet of Debateyness Jason can’t shut the hell up about the endless stream of trailers, featurettes, clips, one sheets, and promotional tie-ins that the studios drop on our heads, something he tries hard to avoid, while Jeremy happily cops to being a glutton for every little crumb. Also in the Gauntlet: The boys fight over the Soul of Explodey Films and discuss Sly Stallone, old time action heroes, the lack of solid roles for women, and the rise of comic book movies and their possible superiority over the action flicks Stallone is paying tribute to with Expendables 2. Jason also cries out for a sequel to Stop or My Mom Will Shoot and has an interesting idea on how to solve a problem like a dead Golden Girl. In the Peebody Award winning segment Dirty Nerdy Secrets, Jeremy admits to something horrifying that he used to do with his action figures, and Jason, yet again tells us something about his penis before sullying the image of an adorable midget actor. All that and so much more on this week’s Bastardcast. On Next Week’s Show: Random bullshit… and pie!